I've been completely absorbed in a book I've recently started reading. It's called "Ultra-Marathon Man" By Dean Karnazes. It's kind of having an effect on me and I'm finding it to be a positive one.
In the last decade I've begun to question my motivations behind everything I do. I can't say I've been very happy and not very proud of my bad decisions and some of the havoc I've wreaked on my direction in life. My brother Hugh's untimely death was really a slap off the side of the head to wake up and live life and not run from or, avoid it and worse to feel completely downtrodden as the end draws near.
All through the book there were positive and insightful reflections on how life can be looked approached. I'm at the age now that I should have some sure footing and a perspective on what I want to accomplish and what I should feel at the end of it all. As far as the style of life and the techniques I utilize in meeting lifes challenges there is one quote which really makes me want to lose the safe approach to life...
As told from the book-
-As a running buddy once said to me: Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: “WOW!! What a ride!”
Karnazes, Dean (2006-03-02). Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner (Kindle Locations 3105-3107). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.
Today was a remarkable day. I had run last night a little to long and hard. I'm bothered with what I think is some tendinitis in my right knee. A weakness from a pretty catastrophic injury back in the early 80's. I had planned on doing a short run but, once I get started and if I'm feeling good, I tend to overdo it a bit.
When I awoke this morning the plan was to spend some time with the dogs. Haven't had too much time with work and training etc. We all had a blast and ended up spending over two hours playing around and the dogs got to visit some local stores and businesses on the way home. They love that, they're very into humans and lot's of attention. When we got home we just hung out ate lunch and Facebooked, Tweeted, phone calls, ending with lunch and a giant snooze.
The afternoon plan was to just chill out but, the bike was calling...actually it was yelling at me to come out and play! Maybe it's the fact that the Paris Roubaix is going to be raced tomorrow. The bike gears were turning and I just got up, dressed and launched out the door. It was amazing how great I felt even with a little Lactic acid in the quads.
I didn't bring any music with me and just wanted to think and digest the book I'd been reading and the ideas it fired up deep down in my mind and soul.
I'm getting old but still in good shape and I've noticed a change in my state of mind in the last couple of years.
I used to be angry all the time. Now I seem to be learning slowly how to ignore the things that don't mean crap! Even with an ugly incident as I left the building today, I was able to just let it go and forgot about it within a couple of blocks. I need to practice this everyday especially since along with losing my brother I've lost the one person who I was always was able to talk to about anything and everything. He would never judge and after our conversations there always would be a laugh and belief that sometime down the line everything will be okay. There are no second chances, we must follow our hearts and dreams now.
I'm sure hoping this state of mind I found myself in this morning is the real deal and not some half assed Bi-polar brain-blast that I'll have forgotten by morning.
It's time to use it and not lose it...