|Beyonce-The Dog Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest...|
She has no idea what I go through to give her a happy life...I couldn't imagine having human children in this world. I don't know where that kind of courage comes from...Seriously! I can't even comprehend it. I don't know if I would be considered a coward or a wise man for not taking the plunge into parenthood. My sister and brothers just dove into it with both feet. It was automatic for them. Even though it was a struggle in the beginning for each one of them, they just headed down that road and didn't look back.
I was never able to establish the confidence in myself and never dared to take that step. They all fared well and were blessed with so much love and happiness in their offspring. At times I feel regret, yes, and even a twinge of jealousy towards them and disappointment in myself.
I do love my dogs and It's been so much work. I'm still afraid of where I am and where I'm going on my career path and financial stability is something I've never known or know if I ever will be comfortable. I'm going through yet another upheaval with my working situation and having to make some tough decisions very soon...like tomorrow!
I've heard more than a few times, people comment to me.
"If I come back to earth in another life I want to be born a dog in your family"!
That makes me feel better. I do have the capacity to love and nurture other beings but sometimes I wonder if it's just easier with animals. It's very natural and easy for me and has been that way. Why I fear human children I just don't know. Maybe it's the fact I know that my dogs don't really have the capacity to judge.
Did I judge my parents? Yes! Who hasn't?
In the end I'm still guided by my fathers principles. He is genuinly a kind man who has made mistakes but in his life but when it comes down to it, I have probably more faith in him than I do for myself. When making a conscience moral decision I would always stop and consider...
What would Dad do?
I love you Dad and you are my inspiration. I hope you are not too disappointed that I went with the grand-dogs and not the grandchildren...
How many Grandfathers can say that two of their grand kids are named "Lady Gaga" and "Beyonce"