There is something so deep and intense about exercising late at night when traffic is at a minimum, most normal people are home in their warm abodes and a dark quiet peace encapsulates everything. It quiets the nerves and quiet is what I absolutely need at this moment.
I had a horrible day and it all had to do with close proximity to angry, over the top hostile and hating humans. I think I'm just burning out with the pitiful, deplorable condition of having to exist in a decaying urban environment.
Aside from that I've just had a few setbacks recently and needed to get back to some reality checks in my life.
To jump ahead and not wallow in my day's conflagrations...
I remember back around 2008/2009 getting into a lot of night riding with my friends. Although maybe somewhat dangerous, there's just something about the quietness, the night air, the lack of traffic people and light just makes for a deep, may I say spiritual vibe. I feel connected with the Universe, disconnected from the vicissitudes that have weighed me down throughout the day...Freedom.
As soon as I crossed Van Ness Boulevard and entered into lower Pacific Heights it was suddenly like a warm blanket was put over my shoulders. The music in my ears and over it I could here the barely discernible pat on the pavement as my Newtons whisked me along the sidewalks and pavement. It reminded me of how my puppies run along side me which made me wish they were with me.
I crossed Divisadero and climbed out towards outer Pacific Heights and the Presidio and yet further into the quiet and darkness. Peace, finally.
As I dipped down into 25 Ave to Seacliff and the beginning climb up to the Presidio and the view of the Golden Gate bridge I understood the feeling that and UltraMarathoner feels running miles and miles in the night and the stillness. I want this. Although it was only an eleven mile run, it seemed timeless, endless at least for the time I was in the moment.
I descended from the bridge and down to the base of the bridge. I hopped a fence with a sign that said "Closed: Keep out".
and I ran some more to "Hoppers Hands" and stopped for a moment to breath in the view.
Finally I ran towards home, down along the beach in the moonlight along Chrissy field and Marina Green and my mind just wandered into that beautiful peaceful state between reality and dreams...timelessness. Even though I was really tired my feet kept moving and up back over the hills.
I think my training and base are enough that I really feel as though my legs are at the point of running by themselves and not of need for any kind of brain to micro manage them. Kind of like riding a horse.
I stopped along Polk street to get a vitamin water and had trouble wrapping my head back around reality as I fumbled through my wallet like I was stoned.
I walked home the few blocks and drank my water. I slowly fell back into reality and as I passed the drunks, crackheads and homeless, my reality check took hold.
I don't have it that bad. I'm very lucky and I really appreciate these times to get away and escape what these poor souls can't. If only they knew about this wonderful high that is available to them...their lives would change. I know that mine has...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Just a thought that came to me and reminded me of when I had been going through a horrible depression and the moment I snapped out of it...
One of the greatest moments in my life was the moment I shut my mouth, opened my ears and eyes, stepped aside and let the giant wave of youthful artists by me to take the wheel and venture down that road with reckless abandon, as I once did...a long time ago...
I've been anticipating Lady Gaga's new album. I know some of my friends just don't get my obsession, and fascination with her but, she's really a symbol of the feeling I've stated above. No one really knows how she saved me and may never know a lot of the other reasons which I may just keep to myself that she helped me deal with.
Life is complicated and many persons, places and things hold great value to us and maybe in only a way that we understand and no on else does.
