All In The Family

I think I need to take a lesson from my two brothers and my Dad. My younger brother has discovered a passion for cycling, my older a rekindled passion for playing music and my Dad is just plain having fun! Here I am wheels spinning and a bit stuck in the mud, although there have been some breakthroughs this week, at least I know I have a job. Not quite at the terms I wanted and hoped for, but enough to keep a roof over our heads.

My older brother is sending me his compositions and musical experiments. I'm really happy for him. At about the time he really inspired me to play he kind of got wrapped up in that thing called life. It was kind of painful and sad for me to witness him not enjoying and performing music like I was at the time. I understood what what was going on and his reasons, but it was just tough for him and I felt bad about it.

My younger brother is one of those guys who has way too many irons in the fire. He's constantly shooting for the moon. Jumping through hoops and spinning plates has always been his modus operandi. The last year has been really tough for him...not to go into detail but many challenges in his life including the loss of a son that he loved and cared for very much. I was beginning to really worry about him. He's very good at hiding his cards and putting on a happy facade, but it was beginning to crumble. I hope he sticks with the cycling. I'm sure it's the thing he he really needs. Feeling physically fit and having the freedom that cycling brings is theraputic and brings a nice balance into a stressful life. Even with all the crap I have going right now, making myself get out and ride has helped me keep it all together.

I decided to go out and look for a second job at the beginning of this week...Guess what? There's nothing out there! I even went to Whole Foods to maybe get a job stocking shelves or bagging groceries...no deal! I think tomorrow I'll try McDonalds, or Burger King just for the Hell of it! I have a friend of mine that works for McDonalds. He works the drive-up and works on his stand up comedy routines. He has dreams about becoming a stand up comic. He makes me laugh for sure. I'd just like to have some work that I like. I can't ever remember a job that I liked. I once worked for Guitar Center back in 1990. I enjoyed the enviornment and being emersed in musical instruments, but I couldn't sell anything, so there was no money in it and I had to leave. Soon after I started driving a cab. That was quick cash, but the job sucked. Getting up at 3:30 in the morning 5 days a week and doing 10 hour shifts pretty much killed me. 10 years and 45 lbs. later I split. I did have some great stories to tell. Maybe I'll share a few here one day.

Getting back to my Dad. He's living in a senior retirement complex and He's the last man standing. He's like the Lion King, a real "ladies man". He worked his butt off his whole life. Many difficult jobs, sometimes 2 jobs at once. He derserves a good life and He does seem pretty happy these days. I'd just like to be happy like him.

I'm lucky to have family around and I'm going to try use them a my source of inspiration. Things will get better, we just have to have faith and having people around that care surely helps.